"Go the F*** to Sleep," as it's called most everywhere, is a parody book. It's written and illustrated in the style of a traditional children's book, the kind a parent might read to a child at bedtime, but it is definitely not for children. The book tweaks the notion of perfect little angels and gives parents an opportunity to vent-laugh at the frustrations of the job of parenting.
Dina Santorelli, contributing writer on money.cnn.com said:
"'Go the F to Sleep' is actually a book for adults that deals with the age-old problem of trying to get children to go to sleep.
'It was very evident to me that the book was addressing with humor what is perhaps the core psychological hurdle of parenthood in the early years,' said Temple, whose own children are ages 3 and 5. 'Lack of sleep breaks up marriages.'"
But not everyone finds it funny or helpful.
Karen Spears Zacharias, CNN.com contributor and author of the forthcoming memoir, "The Shelter of Mockingbirds: The Murder of 3-Year-Old Karly Sheehan" said:
"'Go the F*** to Sleep'" is being hailed as a cathartic children's book for parents. Beautifully illustrated and written in the same witty prose style as generations of beloved bedtime storybooks, this read has made a startling climb to the No. 1 spot on Amazon and as a New York Times Bestseller.
Who can explain it?
As the title suggests, 'Go the F*** to Sleep' mocks the parental frustrations of trying to lay a child down to bed. Crass in concept and execution, this is an expletive-filled bedtime story intended solely for the amusement of parents.
Joan Demarest is an attorney in Corvallis, Oregon, and the mother of three young boys. Demarest told me that initially she thought the book was funny. That was before she read it. 'Now I find it unsettling. I don't like violent language in association with children.'
Still, there's no denying the reason 'Go the F*** to Sleep' should be kept out of reach of children is because of its violent language and because of the way it demeans children.
'Imagine if this were written about Jews, blacks, Muslims or Latinos,' says Dr. David Arredondo. He is an expert on child development and founder of The Children's Program, in the San Francisco metropolitan area, which provides consultation and training for those working with troubled youths.
It is hard to imagine this kind of humor being tolerated by any of the marginalized groups Arredondo cited.
Author Adam Mansbach is undoubtedly the kind of father who heaps love, affection and attention upon his daughter. (He reportedly had the idea to write the book because of his exasperation with her at bedtime.) But sadly, his book accurately portrays the hostile environment in which too many children grow up.
For far too many kids, the obscenities found in Mansbach's book are a common, everyday household language. Swearing is how parents across the social, educational and economic strata express their disappointments or anxieties, their frustrations and outright anger at their children. Sometimes the biggest bully in the neighborhood lives in the same house you do. Sometimes it's your parent.
Perhaps the reason Mansbach's book resonates isn't so much because of the humor, but because of the truth behind it.
The violent language of 'Go the F*** to Sleep' is not the least bit funny, when one considers how many neglected children fall asleep each night praying for a parent who'd care enough to hold them, nurture them and read to them."
"Is the nice, liberal father who has just this Saturday carted his kids to soccer practice, play dates, piano lessons, made sunflower-butter sandwiches, and read Goodnight Moon three times seething with quiet desperation?"
The idea of saying 'shut the fuck up' to a 3-year-old is hilarious and enthralling only if you are channeling an awful lot of that 'hot crimson rage.'
In Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious, Freud writes about the 'hostile purpose' of jokes. He argues that jokes are liberating and give us pleasure when they articulate the anger we are not allowed to express in everyday life. Here of course, that anger or hostility is aimed at children, at big-eyed toddlers padding around in their strawberry pajamas, and that is what is both exhilarating and disturbing about the book. There is a nastiness in Go the F**k to Sleep, an undercurrent of resentment that is comic, or 'cathartic,' as another Amazon reviewer put it, only to parents who are pretty radically subjugating themselves to a certain kind of kid-centered drabness, and judging from the book's runaway success, that would be a lot of parents."
"What's more absurdly hilarious than an ersatz bedtime story called "Go the F**k to Sleep"? Funnier even than Werner Herzog or Samuel L. Jackson reading it? Answer: The uproariously hyperbolic opinion piece that ran Monday on CNN – CNN! -- by author Karen Spears Zacharias, who claims, "The violent language of 'Go the F*** to Sleep' is not the least bit funny, when one considers how many neglected children fall asleep each night praying for a parent who'd care enough to hold them, nurture them and read to them." Wah wah waaaaaaah.
Zacharias, whose comedic credentials include a blurb from Jeff Foxworthy, has drummed up a world of disagreement; her story has received over 2,000 comments in just one day since her bizarre Op-Ed appeared. The more restrained can be summed up by the reader who noted 'Humor helps people deal with stress' and the person who suggested, 'This lady is out of her mind.'
Mansbach's humor is about the tyrannical boss -- the boss, in this instance, being the baby. And if you're a parent, you damn well know who wears the poop-loaded, spit-up-stained pants in your torturously sleep-deprived relationship."
Dina Santorelli, contributing writer on money.cnn.com said:
"The book, written by Adam Mansbach and illustrated by Ricardo Cortés, originally was slated for a fall release. Then the PDF version of the book hit the Internet and went viral. As a result, Akashic is moving up its release date, for both the print book and ebook, to June 14. The film rights already have been sold to Fox 2000."
Samuel L. Jackson reading "Go the Fuck to Sleep" available on Youtube:
Is the book funny? Appropriate? Inappropriate? A useful vent? Encouraging or making light of potentially abusive attitudes and behaviors? An example of a kind of ageist bigotry? Is the controversy a tempest in a teacup or a spotlight on a serious and insidious problem? Yuppie whining or just parenting reality? And...film rights?
"Aimee L. Sword was sentenced to nine to 30 years in prison for having sex with the 16-year-old biological son she had given up for adoption after tracking down on Facebook.
The 36-year-old Detroit area woman pleaded guilty to one count of first-degree criminal sexual conduct in a deal with prosecutors.
Police say Sword used the social networking site in 2008 to find her son, who is now 16. She had given him up for adoption as an infant."
"Aimee L. Sword, 36, of Waterford, apologized at her sentencing on Monday in Oakland County Circuit Court on Monday. The former Macy's makeup clerk could face up to 30 years in jail.
Sword tracked her teenage son, who is now 16, on Facebook in 2008 after she didn't receive an annual update from the boy's adoptive family in Grand Rapids.
Sword said she only has sex with her son once. But authorities said there were several incidents, including at a Grand Rapids hotel and at her home.
At the time, Sword was married and lived with her husband and five children who ranged from toddlers to teens.
The boy's adoptive parents-not knowing about any sexual misconduct-- gave him permission to stay with Sword. He later alerted a counselor to the incident.
'Aimee's searching for a reason why this happened. She can't understand it,' Ribitwer said."
I asked about what I perceived to be an often knee-jerk accusation-label trope on forums.
Orfeu said: "We all calibrate our racial sensitivity dial differently...which frankly, does not make for a smooth discourse.
....you may calibrate your dial differently to me."
nina said: "honestly, when i hear accusations of racism and the like, i tune out and stop listening. start with that business and you lose all credibility in my eyes.
ive learned that its one those labels that people are quick to use for no reason other than to 'win'. once they have that label affixed they are no longer required to argue using logic or respond to points and opinions. instead they can respond to strawmen and keep shouting 'youre a racist', and it is pretty evident that if somebody is a racist you can respond with every low blow possible while dismissing their every word with slogans and personal attacks hey
its too bad, because it makes so many topics completely impossible to discuss in an honest way. how can one talk about solutions to drugs or crime or western poverty if any discussion of race is off the table? imo those that jump to claims of 'racism' are the most disingenuous, trollish, nonproductive members of any forum. they squelch the discussion of real problems and real solutions with their left-wing, bleeding-heart dogma."
McLovin said: "Yes, but none of this negates a person being proven racist. The accusation being thrown around out of context to win an argument is BS but if a person predicates their arguments on racist stereotypes and beliefs I'll call them on it."
Lee said: "I think we get a more interesting discussion if we call a person onthe point, rather than callthe persona "racist." nina's right, I think, about the latter ending the conversation for all practical intents and purposes."
There were a couple of conversations in the forums I frequent about whether any discussion of any racial slur in any context was ever appropriate. The argument against using a racial slur for even academic or etymological discussions appeared to be that use of even an edited version of the slur, such as "the n word," kept the slur and its general usage alive.
Thoughts?
Derek, from gV, provided these Youtube videos from the always funny, but also thought-provoking Louis CK (a favorite of Orfeu's, btw.)
Orfeu said: "Louis CK is my fave comedian....and yeah, when I read Lee's post....his piece on the "N" word, was what was running through my head."
I'm taking classes on literature in America in the 1900s, one of which has an emphasis on African-American literature. There's a lot to process. Comments made even now in blogs and forums and in the news "ping" my brain back to the content of the classes I'm taking.
Here are a couple of excerpts of posts I made in the Saloon thread on gotVirtual on the subject:
LeeHere said: "I'm taking a class on the subject of post-1900 African-American literature with an emphasis on popular and/or pulp fiction.
LeeHere said: "I know the accusation of racism gets bandied about quite a bit...too much and sometimes inaccurately. Forum posters in general sometimes use certain go-to, universal, knee-jerk default condemnations the way lazy supervisors use tardiness to fire problem employees, i.e. it is sometimes the easiest and cleanest way to categorize or get rid of people who are difficult to deal with and define in complex and taxing ways. "Liar! Racist! Pedophile!" These are some of the most recognizable overused and misused examples of what I'm talking about. Other times posters use these accusations like mindless drones in a forum version of "The Body Snatchers." And sometimes the accusations are right on target."
Malcolm X said: "He got the peace prize, and we got the problem.. ... If I'm following a general, and he's leading me into a battle, and the enemy tends to give him rewards, or awards, I get suspicious of him. Especially if he gets a peace award before the war is over."- Malcolm X about Martin Luther King, Jr. - Malcolm X, Interview with Claude Lewis, December 1964 (after Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. received the Nobel Peace Prize)
A partial reading list from my current classes. Anyone read any of them? Thoughts, comments? The Book of Daniel by Doctorow Gangster We Are All Looking For by Le Thi Diem Thuy Rat Bohemia by Sarah Shulman Aye, & Gomorrah by Samuel R. Delany Black No More by George S. Shuyler Bloodchild & Other Stories by Octavia E. Butler Cotton Comes to Harlem by Chester Himes Daddy Cool by Goines Of One Blood by Hopkins Spook Who Sat By the Door by Greenlee Dark Continent of Our Bodies: Black Feminism and the Politics of Respectability (Mapping Racisms) by E. Francis White Noir by noirs: towards a new realism in Black cinema by Manthia Diawara The Black Dick: race, sexuality, and discourse in the L.A. novels of Walter Mosley - African American detective novels by Stephen Berger WEB Du Bois Langston Hughes Toni Morrison Maya Angelou Iceberg Slim A couple of themes: The Harlem Renaissance The Politics of Respectability Double-consciousness paradigms Art Paraliterature Pulp Fiction Modernism Mono & polygenesis The "tragic mulatto" cliché The African American canon Pan-Africanism
I've got my head in books from the early part of the 20th century and the conversations in and about those books seem relevant to our time and I find it interesting and worthy of conversation, if anyone else wants to have it.
There is a lot to this, but to boil it down to the one, two or three things that got me started talking about it here, I'd say the quickness and sometimes unsubstantiated thoughtlessness with which people are sometimes called "racists" on forums, the creation and protection of sacred cows on forums and the idea that discussing a racial slur in any context is a bad thing to be avoided and censured. Martin Luther King, Jr. for example, could be said to currently hold a kind of revered and near "uncriticizable" place in modern culture. If someone does criticize Martin Luther King, Jr., would the act of criticism itself attract or earn the label of "racist"? Are my quotes here, some from scholarly works, referencing racial slurs, reinforcing language that should be allowed and encouraged to die out? That's my point.
I've had to answer this question on a number of forays into academic life and it reared its head again last night.
"What is art?"
Dictionaries and encyclopedias give us this much:
1. Expression or application. Process or product.
2. Human creative skill, talent and imagination.
3. Shared with others.
4. Works to be appreciated for their beauty or emotional power. Affects and influences a person through their senses, emotions and intellect. Communicates philosophical, political and spiritual ideas. Creates beauty and pleasure and elevates the environment. Explores the nature of perception. Creates a platform for self-discovery and catharsis. Challenges perceptions and beliefs.
5. Objects, environments or experiences.
6. Paintings, drawings, sculptures, music, literature, performance art, plays, film, photography, textiles, garments, cuisine.
7. Message, mood, symbolism, interpretation.
8. Aesthetics and taste. Value judgments
9. Skill and craft, applied art, commercial art, found art, conceptual art, creative and fine art, art therapy.
10. Universal communication.
I talk about it a lot because it just seems to be the screaming universal underlying truth to everything on the internet. And in yet another example, we have Weiner, a married man and soon-to-be father in political life and the public eye with fans and constituents, resigning because he got caught cybering with (multiple) people and shamed out of office for it and some Howard Stern staff heckler shouting "Are you more than 7 inches" during Weiner's public resignation announcement.
The Howard Stern staff heckler, Benjy Bronk, tweeted this today:
"just realized, stupid shit I did, done 4 same reason Weiner did his stupid shit both just trying 2 get affirmation (love, laughs, etc)"
Earlier today I posted this blog post about men posing as lesbians on blogs making international news. It's a convoluted stories with many people and moving parts.
I wanted a separate space to identify the issues and questions raised by the saga.
A couple of points.
1. MacMaster said he created the Amina Arraf avatar character because he was not being taken seriously and he was treated as too extreme when he posted as himself. He said he had "been accused of being of a misongyist, a homophobe, a racist, and just about everything else."
2. MacMaster said he also wanted to practice his creative, fictional literary voice.
3. MacMaster did not contain himself to one personal blog and a forum. He posted as Arraf on dating sites and presented himself as a reporter to a news blog.
4. MacMaster/Arraf has a real-life wife and had an online girlfriend.
5. There is some question as to how much and what and when MacMaster's wife knew. She says she was deceived and that she is sick and furious over it.
6. MacMaster used the real pictures of a London woman named Lecic who was completely unaware of how her pictures were being used (from her private Facebook page) and very upset when she found out about it as reporters began contacting her at work, calling her family, etc.
7. MacMaster said he was banned from Wikipedia for making too many edits on the subject of Syria.
8. The U.S. State Department got involved in the attempted rescue of the fictional Arraf.
9. The U.S. government has now been accused by members of the Syrian government and others of making up stories and perverting facts directly due to this hoax.
10. Somehere in the neighborhood of 15,000 people may have joined the Facebook page created for supporters of Arraf trying to secure her freedom.
11. According to Andy Carvin of NPR, MacMaster communicated with legitimate news organizations as Arraf, including the Guardian. MacMaster "arranged to meet" a UK Guardian reporter in Damascus and supplied a photo, again, of another woman, Jelena Jacic, but never showed up. Francesca Paci of Italy's La Stampapublished an apology letter from MacMaster. He had communicated with her as Arraf and never told her Arraf was a fictional construct.
12. Organizations such as blogs, media outlets and advocacy groups feel their credibility has taken an enormous hit.
13. Bill Graber, who had been posing as Paula Brooks, the editor and owner of Lez Get Real,was also outted in the ensuing scandal.
14. Following the Graber/Brooks story reveals many fallings out, business disputes over the site, complaints about Brooks' writing, comments made by Brooks filled with the not unfamiliar histrionics of an attention-seeker wallowing in drama.
15. A handful of women are now claiming that Graber/Brooks harassed and bullied them in an effort to get them to go public with their private stories about coming out as lesbians. He wanted them to "do it for the cause." Said they were basically not "lesbian enough" and not doing their parts.
16. Bill Graber/PaulaBrooks reportedly told people she was the founder and editor of Lez Get Real, a PhD from Bryn Mawr with three master's degrees (Duke), an employee at the Smithsonian Institution, a former employee for MSNBC including The Rachel Maddow Show and Countdown with Keith Olbermann and connected to NBC (able to get press passes, press exposure and more) via relatives who are NBC staffers, an activist, a mother of twins, who also adopted a son, the widow of a wife who had been a pilot in the Navy or Air Force and had died of breast cancer, later the girlfriend of a 41-year-old Jewish FBI agent named Stephie who was great in bed. Brooks had also been molested by a priest as a child at a school for the deaf. Oh yeah, and Brooks was deaf...which is why she could not use the phone or VOIP to talk to anyone, though her "father," Bill occasionally would on her behalf.
17. One woman, Melanie Nathan, said she had even quit her paying job to volunteer full-time for the Graber/Brooks LGBT website, Lez Get Real.
18. Bridgette LaVictoire fell in love with Paula Brooks (Bill Graber).
19. McMaster says people "want to believe."
20. MacMaster said it was a boost to his ego to "punk" so many intelligent people and legitimate news organizations.
21. Many people claim to have been emotionally invested and now deeply wounded.
From NPR:
"Since MacMaster's confession went up, the reaction from the blogosphere has been harsh. A lot of criticism thrown his way was that he had thrown all bloggers in the Middle East into question, both in their countries and in the Middle East."
"MacMaster said that was part of the reason he kept Amina going. If he was discovered, the Syrian government could point to him and say 'see how these foreigners are trying to malign our country'"
So then the questions might be:
1. Is what MacMaster did wrong and why?
2. Is he a sociopath, a narcissist, a man who made mistakes, a thoughtless, juvenile cad, an arrogant, condescending, privileged, interfering ass, a butthurt internet troll, an attention-seeking drama whore, a performance artist, an opportunistic salesman, a legitimate creator of successful fiction, someone with a mental illness, an evil bastard or something else?
3. What is the extent of the damage done by MacMaster?
4. MacMaster is a U.S. citizen whose actions indirectly cost the U.S. State Department. Should something be done about that and if so what should or could be done?
5. Was the MacMaster stunt damaging to LGBT rights? Syrian rights? Other marginalized or oppressed groups or people in danger?
6. What can be done about something the situation with MacMaster and Graber?
7. How does what MacMaster did compare to what Graber did?
8. What is Graber? A sociopath, a narcissist, a man who made mistakes, a thoughtless, juvenile cad, an arrogant, condescending, privileged, interfering ass, a butthurt internet troll, an attention-seeking drama whore, a performance artist, an opportunistic salesman, a legitimate creator of successful fiction, someone with a mental illness, an evil bastard or something else?
9. Münchausen by internet?
10. How will these stories affect "citizen journalism"?
11. What about the legitimate international news agencies that were also fooled?
More questions:
1. From Jared Man on NPR comments: "Perhaps their words have been more enlightening than detrimental to the lesbian and those masquerading as lesbian communities? Lets all try to be optimistic today, shall we?"
2. From Rhetorical Jones (Fool_Child) on NPR comments: "Someone please remind me - Why are anonomous bloggers relevant and considered 'newsworthy'?"
3. From Knowledge at studwithswag.com: "Isn’t there a line that should never ever be crossed when it comes to merging fantasy and reality?"
More comments:
1. From Johnny Truant on NPR comments: "Ah, the Internet: Where women are men, the men are boys, and the girls are FBI agents."
2. From Albert Esq (neoli) on NPR comments: "this story is timeless, whether it was fanatics masquerading to be the 'word of god' or 'liberals' masquerading as liberals...people will do just about anything to get noticed."
"I am somewhat reminded of Orson Wells’ radio adaptation of The War of The Worlds which caused panic and chaos by those who believed the terrifying narrative was real.
But this is no such thing. There’s a clear difference between openly fictionalizing or placing a spin on real events and perpetrating a triple-double whammy by pretending to be someone or something you’re not. No theater training in the world could have aptly prepared Tom MacMaster or Paula Brooks aka Bill Gather and all of the people they lied to for the resulting backlash.
This is one of those chapters in faction (a mix of fiction and fact) where by the end of the story the truth is greater and more interesting than fiction. MacMaster was in the process of writing the story of his life, and he will likely try to capitalize on all of the events leading up to it now. Here’s a quasi academic who doesn’t, at first sight, correlate the difference between fact and fiction and hurt and pain that he’s caused to many. He is so oddly transparent that he and his wife decided to go on vacation in the midst of all the chaos; in the midst of a grand internet hoax coming to light. It’s classic sociopathic behavior from a narcissist and I hope those who read his graduate dissertation pay very close attention to his detail."
1. Tom MacMaster, a married 40-year-old heterosexual American man, Middle East peace activist and student from Georgia living in Edinburgh, Scotland, maintained a fictional identity and a popular blog written in the style of a memoir or journal of a Syrian, lesbian, Muslim, revolutionary using pictures he'd taken from the Facebook account of a London woman. Tom MacMaster called himself Amina Abdullah Arraf and posted not only on the Amina Arraf biographical blog, A Gay Girl in Damascus, but also on several other sites, including Graber'sLez Get Real site and dating sites, the latter of which he said he used to practice his literary voice, despite entering into actual relationships with people with promises to meet in real life. The blog and the character become so popular that MacMaster appears to have felt he was losing control of the situation, and the character he had operated for some six years, and defaulted to a plan forum and virtual world dwellers know all too well...he tried to kill her off.
The problem with such a plan, again, as internet denizens know, is that it tends to make both the sincerely invested and the jadedly curious...investigate. In this instance, however, MacMaster had made Amina Arraf such a compelling figure of political strife across multiple websites that the beginning of her demise, a possible capture by one of "18 police formations" or "multiple different party militias and gangs" got such a strong, compassionate and engaged reaction that the U.S. State Department and multiple major news organizations got involved in an attempt to find and rescue the nonexistent woman. The attention and resources of a curious group of internetters, the State Department and major new organizations led to the revelation that Arraf is actually written and operated by MacMaster.
Tom MacMaster
It also appears that before the scandal broke, MacMaster had planned to write a book as Arraf. A link to a draft of the "memoir" is included below. He may still do so, but the story will be...a little different.
From the Washington Post:
"'Look, if I was the genius who had pulled this off, I would say, ‘Yeah,’ and write a book,' he said Friday, reached in Istanbul, where he is vacationing with his wife, a graduate student working on a PhD in international relations."
From the Washington Post:
"In a series of phone calls throughout the weekend, MacMaster first denied any connection to the site. On early Monday morning MacMaster ,in a phone call from his vacation in Istanbul, finally talked about why he did it, whether his wife knew and what he regrets."
"The biggest reason was that I found that when I argued, debated and made points that I knew to be factually sound on issues relating to Middle East by myself, I got pushback."
"I had written a couple of fantasy novels. My experience has been with my fiction that if I can get five people to read it and finish it, I’m doing good. I wasn’t expecting it to get like this."
"When all the attention came, I thought here is an opportunity to put forward some things I thought were important: issues around Middle East conflict, religious subjects. However, I also had a real ego boost in thinking that, 'I’m good. I’m smart. These journalists don’t realize I’m punking them.'"
"I was vain enough to think that even if it wasn’t my name, I was seeing my words in print."
From NPR:
"He wrote a back story for her and started writing a novel based on her. As a way to flesh the character out, he created profiles of Amina on different social networking sites to create a 'depth of character.'"
2 & 3. Bill Graber, 58, is a retired Ohio military man and construction worker. He used his wife's name and a photo of her driver's license to maintain a fictional identity and a popular news site blog about and for lesbians. One day after MacMaster revealed he was not a Syrian lesbian, but a man pretending to be one, Graber, under pressure, reluctantly confessed he was not an American lesbian, but a man pretending to be one. His site, Lez Get Real: A Gay Girl's View on The World, was founded in 2008. He positioned himself as the founder and editor of the site and called himself Paula Brooks, his wife's name. His wife was not aware that her name was being used for this purpose. Paula Brooks was the founder and editor of Lez Get Real, a PhD from Bryn Mawr with three master's degrees, an employee at the Smithsonian Institution, connected to NBC via relatives who are NBC staffers, an activist, a mother of twins, the widow of a wife who had been in the Navy and had died of breast cancer, and deaf...which is why she could not use the phone or VOIP to talk to anyone, though her "father," Bill occasionally would on her behalf. Graber's identity became a source of suspicion and therefore investigation after MacMaster revealed the truth about his identity. MacMaster had posted as Amina Arraf on Graber'sLez Get Real site before starting his own blog as Amina Arraf.
Bill Graber
From The Washington Post:
"Over the weekend, as journalists, bloggers and fans of Amina hunted for clues to the identity behind the blog, Brooks came under review as a possible suspect. Liz Henry, a Web producer at BlogHer.com, questioned Brooks’s involvement with Amina, as Amina had started to write about the Syrian uprising on Lez Get Real before starting her own blog."
"MacMaster came forward Sunday to admit that he was behind the persona of Amina, but questions still remained about Brooks."
Reporters at The Washington Post contacted Graber who remained steadfast in his denials for a while, but then apparently caved after being repeatedly questioned by multiple people in multiple locations as the truth-seeking frenzy grew.
"Brooks had told reporters at The Washington Post that she could only speak on the phone through her father because she was deaf. She provided a photograph of her license as proof of her identity, which showed a woman named Paula Brooks."
"Brooks, who is deaf, said, 'I don’t have a voice in real life. Lez Get Real is my face. It says what I wish I could say if I had a real voice, and Amina seems to be taking that from me.'"
"On Monday, we continued to question her identity. We spoke to the man who identified himself as her father, who finally admitted after numerous telephone conversations: “I am Paula Brooks.” That man turned out to be Bill Graber."
Turns out Graber was all set to quietly retire Brooks and his role in the Lez Get Real site as soon as September even before the scandal broke. He will do so now and much differently than he had originally planned to.
Paula Brooks
Bridgette LaVictoire
4 & 5. Linda LaVictoire, who writes on Lez Get Real using her maiden name Linda Carbonell, is the new co-owner and editor of Lez Get Real. She is currently listed as the site's Managing Editor. Carbonell says in her letter to the readers of Lez Get Real that ownership of the site is being turned over to her and a transgender lesbian with mild agoraphobia and acute anxiety disorder named Bridgette, who, interestingly enough, appears to go by the full name of Bridgette P. LaVictoire. Linda is Bridgette's mother.
From The Washington Post:
"Already reeling from the news of MacMaster’s hoax, one of Graber’s contributors at Lez Get Real Linda LaVictoire, said, 'I was completely taken in; I have been completely taken in for three years.' The 62 year old lives in Vermont and writes on the site under her maiden name of Linda Carbonell."
"Graber hoped the truth of his identity would not hurt the site he had built or set back the causes of the gay and lesbian community. He said he plans to give the site to LaVictoire to run."
From Carbonell's letter to Lez Get Real's readers:
"The past three days have been devastating for all of us on LezGetReal. 'Paula Brooks' has been a part of our lives for three years now. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around this. It has been especially hard for Bridgette because theirs was a very good friendship. Ownership of the site is being turned over to me and Bridgette."
From The Bilerico Project:
"Despite the lies of Bill Graber, LaVictoire and Carbonell are real. LaVictoire is a 36-year-old, lesbian transgender woman and full-time graduate student at Goddard College. She had the first of her gender change surgeries in August, and soon, she will amend her birth certificate to reflect her true gender. Carbonell is LaVictoire's 62-year-old, heterosexual mother who works part-time providing services for older residents in an apartment building."
Melanie Nathan
6. Melanie Nathan is a blogger, an advocate and a confirmed real-life lesbian who was part of the Lez Get Real administration and writing team. She was among the first to question the Amina Araff story.
7. Julie Phineas, co-founder, administrator and writer for Lez Get Real who was duped by Brooks. Phineas has other websites including lesbianmommy.com, guerillalesbians.com and juliephineas.com
8. Renee Gannon, founder of the blog Lesbiatopia who also worked with Graber/Brooks and felt deceived.
Britta Froelicher
9. Britta Froelicher, wife of MacMasters, studying for her PhD in Syrian economic development, originally and briefly thought to be the writer of Arraf, was completely blindsided by the revelations.
From the Washington Post:
"Her husband, Tom MacMaster, also denied any involvement — both to The Post and to his wife. Over the weekend, as the calls from The Post continued to come in, she became increasingly worried, losing sleep and becoming confused as to why we kept investigating her life."
"Froelicher also heard a new admission Monday: MacMaster had posed as a lesbian on dating sites and communicated with women flirtatiously by instant messenger. One woman, Sandra Bagaria, had thought she and Amina were in a virtual relationship and had been planning to meet the fictional Amina in Italy in July."
"'Furious does not begin to describe my feelings,' Froelicher said about that aspect of MacMaster’s elaborate online hoax. MacMaster said he had engaged in these conversations to practice his literary voice, which Froelicher said she believes. 'You might think it’s naive of me to believe that.'"
"She also said she understood the outrage from the readers. 'I totally understand that people are angry. They have every right to be angry. They were misled.'"
Jelena Lecic
10. Jelena Lecic, the London woman whose pictures were taken from her private Facebook account and used my MacMaster, the face of Amina Arraf, in other words. None too happy about it, as you might imagine.
Both men claimed to have done the wrong thing for the right reasons. Both men also claim to be deeply sorry about having deceived and hurt so many people for so long in an effort to do what they believed to be was some good. Both men said they did not feel they would be taken seriously in their efforts to do the kind of good they wanted to do if they were perceived as being the white, male Americans that they really are.
"Graber said he started the site to write about gay issues after seeing the mistreatment of close friends who were a lesbian couple. He said the site was 'done with the best of intentions.' As a former Air Force pilot, he also said he used the site to argue in favor of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal."
"'I didn’t start this with my name because... I thought people wouldn’t take it seriously, me being a straight man,' he said."
11. Sandra Bagaria, the Canadian lesbian who thought for six months that she was having a real relationship with a real woman on the internet, Arraf. They had made plans to meet in real life in Italy.
12. Andy Carvin of NPR, one of the first journalists to uncover the fraud.
Both men chatted and flirted with each other never knowing the other was a male until both revealed themselves when the situation blew up on them after MacMaster tried to kill off Arraf. Both men are reportedly in the company of wives who are said to be furious.
"He felt secure that no one would discover his true identity until the story of Amina started to unravel. He said his connection to Amina was purely coincidental and started when Amina commented on a post on the Lez Get Real site in February. It 'was a major sock-puppet hoax crash into a major sock-puppet hoax.'"
"In the guise of Paula Brooks, Graber corresponded online with Tom MacMaster, thinking he was writing to Amina Arraf. Amina often flirted with Brooks, neither of the men realizing the other was pretending to be a lesbian."
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